When I would clean my locker out at the end of the school year - it was like a time capsule with contents from each month of school revealed layer by layer.
And while I was given all sorts of suggestions growing up on how to organize myself, my belongings, my time - my thoughts - I held a deep amount of shame because as hard as I tried to take the suggestions I often failed and continued my struggle to keep myself "in order."
What I learned as an adult was that I had what is now classified as "executive functioning disorder."
I have difficulty figuring out what is most important or what I should start with given a list of things to do and I waste time tryign to figure out what to do first.
Like those with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD), people with executive function disorder (EFD) often experience time blindness, or an inability to plan for and keep in mind future events that aren’t in the near-term. They also have difficulty stringing together actions to meet long-term goals. This is not an attention problem in the present tense, but rather a sustained attention problem.
Because I had so many struggles with organizing myself and my time growing up I had felt very frustrated until a point about a year ago when I realized that what I had been tryign all these years just wasn't going to work and while everyone was well-meaning in their suggestions - it actually just proved to make findng a solution harder because I was often overwhelmed trying all these different ways of doing things.